As a BIPOC, committing to the “I love myself” mindset is the bravest thing you can do in a society known for continuously trying to make us hate ourselves. However, with all of the self-love content being highlighted on social media and the media, more black women are putting themselves first and committing to loving themselves more.
My self-love journey has been nothing short of beautiful, it didn’t come without its trials and tribulations, but it has helped me identify what has worked for me.
II have listed 12 of the best ways I will be committing to loving myself in 2023 and details on how (, and why) you should consider doing them too!
12 Ways to Commit to Love Yourself in 2023
1. Set Boundaries
One of the best ways to commit to loving yourself is to set boundaries with yourself and the people around you. Setting boundaries are simple acts that help you choose yourself. They help to create self-discipline and allow you to dictate how you’d like to exist in familial, romantic, professional, and platonic relationships.
I’m setting boundaries with myself to:
- Avoid self-sabotage.
- Accomplish the goals I set for myself in 2023.
- Reduce my time in front of screens (e.g., social media and Netflix) to be more productive.
I’m setting boundaries with people around me to:
- Avoid doing things I genuinely don’t want to do.
- Avoid feeling undervalued and unappreciated
- Take back my personal time to focus on my self-development.
Related post about setting boundaries:
Non-Negotiables To Consider When Setting Boundaries in a Relationship
2. Identifying Triggers
One of the most important things you can do to commit to the “I love myself mindset” is is to identify what triggers us. Taking the time to truly understand what triggers our emotions may allow you to also learn how to be more graceful and forgiving with yourself to receive more unconditional self-love
Knowing what triggers you can help you establish and maintain relationships that are more that align with your goals, and what you realistically can (and cannot) tolerate. It will also allow you to take accountability and be more intuitive about the situations and environments you place yourself in.
To get started on identifying and healing from your triggers check out these related posts:
35 Shadow Work Prompts for Self-Love
55 Affirmations to Protect Your Energy When You’re Triggered
These Books on Self-Love and Healing Are Worth Checking Out
3. Engage in Motivating content
A sure way to combat negative self-talk and positively change your own beliefs about yourself and your ability to self-love is by watching, reading, listening to, and creating motivating content.
Most of our day is spent interacting with content and the media. So why not spend that time taking in motivational messages that will benefit you and your self-love journey?
Here are some ways to love yourself more with motivating content:
- Keep a list of your favorite self-love quotes and reminders handy for when you need a little pick-me-up
- Follow self-care podcasts and blogs that’ll motivate you to love yourself.
- Add more songs about self-love to your playlist
- Start adding more self-worth captions on your social media pages.
- Read motivational quotes and poems by other great women like:
20 Maya Angelou Quotes That Prove She Was A Phenomenal Woman
Essential Audre Lorde Quotes on Self-Care for Growth and Reflection
5 Of The Best Poems About Self-Love and Confidence
The 8 Self-Love Poems You Should Be Reading to Yourself Starting Now
7 Must-Have Poetry Books About Self-Love to Buy Yourself
4. Make Self-Care a Priority
Self-care is essential for anyone who is on a journey to loving themselves. Regardless if you are a self-care beginner trying to find a way to stop feeling guilty about self-care, or an OG looking to level up your self-care routine, prioritizing self-care will elevate your self-love journey this upcoming year.
Setting aside time to cater to yourself is the ultimate sign of self-love and a great way to ensure you are showing yourself as much love as you do those around you.
Self-Care Tips to Benefit Your “I love myself” Mindset:
- If you need self-care inspiration, try downloading a few self-care apps.
- If you have an accountability partner(s) and want to support one another in your self-love journey, try a few self-care activities you all can enjoy.
- Invest in a self-care wellness calendar and/or a self-care planner to help you stay organized.
- Start with simple Self-Care Sunday Ideas to build confidence and discipline.
Related self-care posts for black women:
Why is Radical Self-Care So Important For Black Women?
Best Self-Care Podcasts to Listen to This Fall You’ll Love
5. Invite More Joy Into My Life
When people find themselves in a self-love deficit, they often find themselves in desperate need of joy.
The good news is that inviting more joy into your life can be very simple. Happiness can come from the little things in life like:
- Creating (e.g., crafting, cooking, or photography)
- Reading Mindfulness Cards to reduce stress and feel more joy.
- Spending more real-time with human beings after working from home all week (because remote work can be very isolating!).
4 Steps to Easily Add More Joy Into Your Life.
Step 1: Write down everything that has most of your attention now (e.g., work, school, social media, friends, side hustles.)
Step 2: Ask yourself if these activities are bringing you joy. Write yes or no beside each item listed in step 1.
Step 3: Write down a list of things that will bring you joy.
Step 4: Ask yourself how you can eliminate, adjust or move around the things listed in step 1 to make more time for the things you’d enjoy.
6. Prioritize Physical Health
Loving yourself is taking care of your physical self. This is because so much of our overall health depends on physical health.
One way neglecting physical health can damage your self-love journey is by creating low self-esteem. Making a commitment to be proactive and avoid putting our mental and physical selves through a difficult time can look like this:
- Doing mindful physical activities for your mind and body
- Trying out acupuncture and all of its benefits for the first time.
- Signing up for a reformer pilates class
- Enrolling in an online barre class or yoga class will change your life.
While doing physical work can help your self-love journey, remember that there are other more intuitive ways we can cater to our physical selves.
Here are a few posts to help develop a better connection with your body:
65 Body Positive Affirmations to Love The Skin You’re In
65 Helpful Positive Health Affirmations to Keep You Feeling Good
6 Mindful Physical Self-Care Ideas For Your Mind And Body
7. Prioritize Mental Health
There’s no better way to say “I love myself” than by prioritizing your mental health. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself while on your self-love journey. This loving action will not only allow you to allow more mental space for self-love, but it can also keep you creative and help you find new ways to love yourself.
When you are in a better place mentally, your entire life can improve. There are so many ways to commit to your mental health. Here are a few that you can start now:
- Listen to meditation podcasts
- Recite positive affirmations for stress and anxiety
- Morning affirmations to start your day off right.
- Grab Kb’s digital affirmation book for daily inspiration and honest revelations about life and how to process them.
- Seek a therapist on Therapy for Black Girls to ensure you get mental health support from the right person.
Fun Mental Health Activities:
21 Fun and Healthy Self-Care Activities for Teens
Printable Self-Care Bingo Cards Great For Your Mental Health
8. Get to Know Me Again
When committing to self-love, getting to know yourself again can be the most terrifying thing because it means confronting some things you may deem unfavorable about yourself.
Journals and workbooks are some of the best ways to re-learn yourself because they allow you to lay out your feelings and emotions without worrying about the opinions of others. You can also keep them for a long time to reflect on your growth and progress.
Why getting to know yourself is great for your self-love journey:
- It allows you to become your best friend and know yourself better than anyone else.
- It can act as your accountability partner if you need one.
- Helps you set aside and dedicate time to spend with yourself.
Here are self-love journal and workbook suggestions to add to your journey:
15 Self-Love Guided Journals Worth Every Penny
Our Picks for The Best Self-Love Workbooks for Black Women
9. Be Intentional With My Relationships
Another great way to ensure your journey to self-love carries through the rest of your life is by making sure you are intentional about your relationships.
There are 3 types of relationships to consider when choosing to be intentional:
- Familial: While you can’t choose your family, you can choose how you interact with your family. There is great potential to set intentions in a familial relationship that can help you enforce your boundaries.
- RomanticThese types of relationships are best when intentional from the beginning. Set standards and goals when thinking of what kind of relationship you want; getting the tiny matters out of the way can save you time and disappointment.
- Platonic: It can be hard to make friends as an adult. Allowing yourself to choose your platonic relationships based on your goals and standards is more ideal than “falling” into friendships without intentions. Doing this can reduce stress, anxiety, and wounded feelings.
- Professional: When it comes to establishing professional relationships (as an employee or freelancer), it is essential to create relationships aligned with your spirit and goals. Choose a professional relationship that doesn’t make you stressed, anxious, or depressed.
10. Adopt a Quality Over Quantity Mindset
You may feel called to adopt a quality-over-quantity mindset at some point in your self-love journey. This shift isn’t to create unfavorable comparisons in your life but to help you get more out of your journey.
This mindset can be applied to your relationships, work, clothing, and personal space. The benefits of considering quality over quantity can help you:
- Create a group of friends around you that love and support you.
- Help you better identify friendships you need to let go of.
- Build a wardrobe of clothes that last and are well worth your money.
- Spend your free time in ways that make you feel good about yourself.
- Accept job offers that benefit you and give you peace and freedom.
Related posts about choosing quality:
15 Professional Self-Care Ideas to Enhance Your Time at Work
Daily Affirmations For Black Women In Toxic Work Environments
Top Best Friend Date Ideas You’ll Be Excited to Try
11. Get Real With My Finances
One unconventional way to commit to your self-love is by getting financially healthy.
Financial health can negatively affect mental and physical health if not handled well. For example, if someone is on a path to self-love, financial stress can cause anxiety and set back, halt, or undo any positive progress.
Now that more black women are speaking out about wage gaps, demanding fair wages, and negotiating for higher salaries, more women are learning financial literacy. We are learning that the freedom, peace, and comfort we desire can be achieved with a holistic relationship with our finances.
Here are the 3 top black woman financial advisors to follow to help BIPOC women get better with their finances:
Jamilla Souffrant – Journey to Launch
Danni Vaughn- Clever Girl Finance
12. Celebrate Me Every Chance I Get
The best way to make your self-journey as fun as possible is to celebrate yourself.
Traditionally, black women have difficulty celebrating themselves because society rarely celebrates us and gives us credit for all we do. This is your sign to take the time to praise yourself every waking moment you remember.
Celebrating yourself often can help you:
- Practice gratitude.
- Take time to relax and focus on the benefits or rewards of your hard work.
- Work harder at reaching your goals to enjoy the celebrating afterward.
6 Things You Can Consider Celebrating:
- Promotions at work
- Therapy milestones
- Meeting mental and/or physical goals
- Effectively enforcing boundaries
- Accepting new job offers
When you celebrate yourself often, it sets the tone for other people, and they may begin to see it as your expectation.
Related posts about celebrating yourself:
Self-Care Birthday Ideas to Make Your Day Extra Special
Dedicating to the “I Love Myself” Mindset in The New Year
No one in the entire universe can love you better than you can love yourself.
While it may seem like a romantic relationship or even family members may come close to giving you the love you need to feel wholesome, you may realize that the type of love you need can only come from within.
This list of ways to commit to self-love will help you find more peace and ease in your journey to self-love.
Cheers to healing and more selfish acts of self-love in 2023!
Check out these other posts to help you love yourself better:
These Books on Self-Love and Healing Are Worth Checking Out
60 Self-Love Reminders Every Black Woman Needs to Believe
Did you like this post about committing to self-love in 2023? Let us know how you plan to love yourself this upcoming year in the comments below!