I never wanna come off like I’m bragging about my progress but if it’s going to help someone else, I’m going to share it. In spite of what pressures society places on women, these 3 self-love habits that I’ve adopted have changed my life.
Perhaps you can relate to this but there was a time when I placed unrealistic contingencies on myself. For example, ‘If I only were 10lbs lighter I would be much happier or if I could fit in these shorts, I would be happier.’
‘If I could just fit in this dress as I had on my 27th birthday, I would look better in this picture.’
Love Yourself As Your Life Depends On It
In other words, you need you. Treat yourself well because all of the love in the world means nothing if you don’t.
Also, it’s not a good use of our time to place such unrealistic contingencies on ourselves by not loving yourself
More often than not you’ll still be unhappy about something. I know, because I had a cyclical pattern of doing this.
One day I had to get real with myself and realize that I’m not less beautiful when I’m heavier or when my thighs are fuller.
Self Love Words
In my previous post listing self-love mantras, there was one positive affirmation in particular that I haven’t forgotten.
My flaws are evident but my regret of having them isn’t.
I wrote that with every woman that I know in mind. I know what it feels like to lose the desire in dressing up because of weight gain.
It’s incredibly frustrating to go somewhere and people comment on it too. Remind me to write about boundaries.
Affirm your real worth by loving yourself so deeply because that time you spent stressing out, you can’t get that back.
Signs of Self Love: What 3 Things I Realized I Needed
- I needed to learn to love myself again
- I needed to be okay with my weight fluctuations
- Reshaping my mind around the idea that I have to work out every day in order to stay in shape.
1. I Stopped Using “If” And “Wishing I Was Smaller In The Same Sentence”
Again, practicing self-love begins removing contingencies like these. They don’t help you form a healthy relationship with yourself.
Specifically with your mind, if negative thoughts are all of what you think of yourself, you won’t have the energy to think of anything else.
Trust me, I know falling in love with yourself is a trial-and-error kind of process but setting boundaries with yourself is key.
2. If Clothes Didn’t Fit, I Didn’t Allow It To Ruin My Day
I know, this is easier said than done but I became tired of doing this to myself. There’s so much beauty out there.
As an illustration, I had dinner with friends and because of me not feeling great, I missed my friend’s holiday party.
Needless to say, after doing this over and over, I was fed up with it all and put this behavior to a permanent stop.
Part of loving and approving myself means that I allowed myself to enjoy food at every meal, no matter what.
3. Stopped Equating My Beauty By How Much I Weigh
I stopped equating my beauty to how much the scale told me I weigh. The scale was no longer aversive to me.
What’s more, I realized that I receive the same amount of compliments when I’m smaller versus when I weigh more.
The unhealthy habit I had was only remembering the comments from people that told me I gained weight.
Do you do this too?
When my husband brought it to my attention that I tend to overemphasize the comments from people about my weight gain vs. weight loss, something had to change.
My inner dialogue about how much value I put on people to build me up.
Learning To Love Yourself
Regardless of your situation, you can learn to love yourself while in a relationship or by yourself.
Either way, it’s incredibly important to get ahold of your needs because they are non-negotiable.
What did you discover while reading this today?
This post resonated with me Kabrena, thanks for sharing. After being on steroids for my asthma I was at my highest numerical weight ever according to the scale. But praise God for deliverance after a talk with hubby. I realized that I was placing too much emphasis on the numbers of the scale versus the unconditional love I had for me! I was giving those numbers more power than they had my friend! Excellent post!
Thank you so much for sharing that vulnerable story Kangelia! I feel so honored that you would share that with me. Our hubby’s are the best at putting things into perspective, right?!?!