Some of us have delayed tapping into our potential simply because the wrong messaging about the self-love movement has turned us off. Leave a comment raising your hand if that’s you.
There’s a lot of misinformation about self-love out in the media because brands have come to understand that social media is their ticket for making a dramatic impact on the human beings that scroll on Instagram, Facebook, and even TikTok.
Myself and the writers on Kb In Bloom can attest to how brands preaching radical self-love to us have resulted in a cringe-like reaction, making the meaning of self-love a bit watered down than initially intended.
For those mentally there who want to know what self-love myths deserve no attention, read on to view the personal ones I had to stop myself from believing in.
10 acts of self-love myths
Myth 1: Self-Love is always radical
As a black woman, yes, self-love in the communities I’m familiar with would view self-love as such. But it’s only radical because of the skewed view that black women and other women of color cannot take care of business and engage in self-love acts.
It’s discouraging, and in this safe space, it’s downright exhausting to be a black woman seeing little representation of ourselves in this self-love movement. So, in a nutshell, self-love isn’t something that should be radical for black women when it’s not for others.
Related post on black women and self love:
Myth 2: It’s a movement of toxic positivity
There are many who that believe when you accept this new expression of life you’re opening up yourself to ignore the real, difficult emotions that you may go through.
But self-love isn’t letting yourself off the hook for feeling negative emotions – it’s about recognizing these feelings and accepting them as part of your journey rather than pushing them away or feeling guilty about them.
Myth 3: Establishing healthy relationships don’t matter
Oddly enough, this is a myth I’ve heard numerous times. Those meaningful relationships that matter to you deserve your energy and effort to rectify whatever woes you’re having with them; self-love is also about trusting yourself enough to know that those relationships are worth your time and energy.
So, kick rocks to whoever helped spread this lie, and I encourage you to have a deeper understanding of this concept.
Myth 4: Your mental health will be cured
There are so many different ways that your mental health can benefit from focusing on yourself but by no means does self-love cure a mental health condition. In more ways than one, it helps create a greater love resulting in deep compassion to get help if you need it.
Myth 5: Self-care has nothing to do with self-love
Can we not give the folks who believe in this any more attention? The journey of self-exploration is multi-layered, and you simply cannot go through one self-love act without self-care. Sharing the word “self” is enough reason to believe that self-care and self-love are linked.
I like to think of self-love as the sister to the other, and you cannot meet your basic necessities like drinking water without having some sense of self-care in place.
Myth 6: It’s only for people going through a hard time
Good news, bloomers! This is a myth if I’ve ever read one. You can engage in it during the most celebratory time of your life or when you’re having a pretty bad day. It’s not a reactive strategy. It’s a proactive one.
Creating space for true joy to know the awareness it brings into your life through the peaks and valleys is something to be noted.
Myth 7: Putting your needs first is selfish
Just because one has tapped into getting to know their authentic self doesn’t mean it should be deemed selfish. I’ve listed explicit reasons why self-love isn’t selfish, and one of those reasons that I want anyone reading this to know is that there are plenty of things you can do that are terrible, but taking care of yourself isn’t one of them.
Taking a closer inspection at the belief alone should allow you to exhale with relief.
Myth 8: Loving yourself=vanity
Society has shaped us to believe that worrying about others is admirable and what you should inspire to be. Unfortunately, this new adventure may result in unsolicited comments from your friends or family that this “new you” has created a self-obsessed version of you.
And the next time someone comments negatively about it, just tell them, “I am obsessed with making me happy.” It could be the trick to inspire them to create space for themselves more too.
Myth 9: The real self love movement isn’t for black communities
This couldn’t be further from the truth. As I mentioned above, wellness brands do not actively ensure that women of color are represented in their messaging 365 days a year, and for me, that’s a problem.
Every part of life that white women go through also happens to black and brown women, and making this movement accessible to women from the diaspora is equally essential.
Myth 10: You need self-help books to be self-loving
No, you don’t absolutely need a book. However, if you are naturally inclined to read, this could be your ticket for your own journey of self-love. I like to think of self-help books as the cherry on top of the work that I’m doing in my own life.
Self-love books are great for amplifying the message that you’re so actively working on. If the inner work isn’t taking place, reading something will offer you a temporary band-aid to the practice.
The culture of self-love
The messaging found online and offline can be very conflicting. External factors can contribute to a misunderstanding of self-love, making it seem like self-obsession. It’s a beautiful experience that is all about consistently taking time for yourself and prioritizing your well-being and happiness.
If self-love is something you’re just starting out on, remember that it’s a journey that will take time to adapt to. So which self-love myth surprised you on this list?