There are so many ways, to be honest with yourself but the most humbling way I know that helps me is by asking myself questions. Not just any rote series of questions, but the questions that pertain to my needs and my needs only.
Self-love questions are just one of the effective ways that help me to stay in tune with myself without all of the added fluff from a book or audio. There is something so humbling about facing yourself with the truth about whether or not you’ve been good to yourself.
Have you done or said things to yourself that would make someone else hearing them happy?
Why Is It So Hard To Love Ourselves?
Naturally, throughout life, finding your community and maintaining those friendships is emphasized more than having a strong relationship with yourself. Personally, the first time I discovered the concept of practicing self-love was right around my senior year.
Cultivating friendships is what many of us are taught first, so, prioritizing our needs is an afterthought.
Reflection Questions About Love
Whether you are brand new to discovering your voice or just feel off and know that you need a reboot in the self-love area, find time to reflect on each question.
Answering truthfully will help you gauge how you’ve prioritized your day-to-day needs and what steps it will take to get a clearer understanding of who you are today.
1. If I Said What I Thought About Myself Out Loud, Would I Be Proud?
How often have you thought of something to yourself that would leave you cringing if it was said out loud? If you are constantly having thoughts about how unattractive you feel compared to what you used to look like, is that really healthy for your mind to repeat over and over?
Listen, I get it. Society tells us to ask ourselves this question so we can go and fix it right away but society has put unrealistic expectations on humans too. Remember, my list of body positivity quotes? True love begins with loving yourself.
2. What Are Some Ways I’ve Shown Unconditional Love To Others?
Sometimes doing an exercise that makes you think of all the ways you’ve done good to others and proven to them that you unconditionally love them will have you realize just how important it is to do the same thing to yourself.
Trust me, it is possible. You called your mom today to make sure she’s eaten and had some water but have you asked those same questions to yourself?
3. What Do I Need To Do To Increase Peace With My Inner Dialogue?
This, and number one on the list ties in pretty well together because it’s checking what negative thought patterns you have without even realizing it. Is there someone you need to talk to for closure? How about someone that needs firm boundaries?
Forming healthy habits is like telling yourself, ‘I love myself and I want to live knowing that I’ve put in the work to ensure that it stays that way.’
4. Is How I’m Feeling, Something I’ve Felt every day?
The ultimate wellness question to ask yourself is one that can answer whether this emotional state is something you’ve been dealing with for a while.
Are you able to place a month or specific date of when this feeling started? Is there anything you could remove off your plate so that spending time with yourself doesn’t feel like a chore?
In healing from burnout, I knew the cause of my burnout was work. It’s important to be able to pinpoint that for yourself.
5. Have I Enjoyed Every Meal Without Guilt?
There are so many women that can recall having guilt about eating certain foods. I don’t believe we are meant to have contracts with our food, we should enjoy all of it with no guilt.
If loving your natural self involves eating food from your culture, I love this journey for you. I once read a quote by Sonia Sanchez that you can’t have relationships with other people until you give birth to yourself.
Something about the way I read that out loud made me get out of my journal to write self-love questions to myself. Let’s think about that the next time we encourage someone we love to eat whatever food they want, give that same grace to yourself.
6. Have I Tapped Into My Community For Support?
Tapping into the community is so rewarding for so many reasons. When you tap into your community, you’re also telling yourself, “I deserve someone to pour into me.”
Acknowledging that communal support is not just a one-way street and that the same outpour of love you show to others, deserves to be shown to you is a form of self-love. No one on this earth deserves to go through anything alone, having 1-to 2 people to check in with you and hold you accountable is so good for your mental health.
7. What Qualities About Myself Do I Love?
Once upon a time, this was an entry to one of the online prompts I found online that read, “journal questions to ask yourself?”
This is an incredibly imperative question to ask yourself because as you begin listing qualities you love, you start to realize that there is so much to you that is worth loving.
Mentally and emotionally, exercises like this will help you out so much.
Falling In Love With Yourself
And just like that, you are on your way to solidifying a self-love journey to be proud of. Beginning today is all it takes. Although there’s no deadline, I encourage you to get moving today. There’s no set time, place, or day to start, just ever so gently, begin.
If there is anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that self-love is a day-by-day commitment that gets tested every single day and it’s worth it.