Get this, self-care is absolutely important in a marriage. Now, let me go ahead and explain to you why.
Surprised by this week’s blog post? I had to do some thinking over about this and realized it’s important to me that I talk about this.
The term self-care has been interpreted as something that only solo people do but we know that can’t be true.
For some of us, we are already married and know quite well how easy it is to forget your needs.
You want to know what came up on Google when I started researching?
I hope none of you are actually searching for this and if you are, I don’t judge you.
BUT when did getting married equate to becoming less physically attractive? It was bizarre what all I found but here’s my take on practicing self-care while married.
The way you treat yourself with or without a partner matters. If your basic needs mattered to you before marriage, then they should matter to you once you say, “I do.”
It’s really that simple. Your identity doesn’t end when you get married. By the same token, you’re identity shouldn’t just be tied to being married to your person.
Your identity is created in the way you treat yourself, the words you say to yourself, the behaviors you engage in.
Being married to your person should enhance your wellbeing, scroll down to read what I mean.
I have to admit, there’s nothing like enjoying your partner while experiencing the ripple effects from having a supportive partner.
One of the things I love about marriage is being able to spend time with my partner.
Your partner allowing you to hold conversation about setting boundaries with yourself should make you feel happy.
When you forget your goals, your partner reminds you to take good care of yourself by getting adequate sleep or reading a self-help book.
The starting point for me with my husband is letting him know of my physical and mental health goals.
I wanted to work on adding more consistent movement to my week, and finding time to read some of those books I’ve been putting off.
My husband helped me not forget those personal self care goals to myself and I didn’t forget his, thank God.
His simple self care reminders kept me focused and left me feeling good about our individual and mutual self-care goals.
The same way you took care of yourself when you were single. It’s definitely more challenging but this is where your self-care muscle comes in.
If you’ve been practicing self-care for a while then getting married shouldn’t shake you off your core too much.
Self-Care is marriage care. When you take care of yourself, you can take care of your partner and your kids with so much gusto and joy.
As a married couple, your mission should always involve improving yourself so that when you come together, there’s literal magic oozing off of you.
I harp on this a lot but communal care is just as important as individual care. A box is checked off here when you have a partner to hold you accountable to your needs.
If your partner isn’t doing that, let them know you need that extra nudge so you don’t forget about your wellness.
I enjoy when my husband leaves me self-care reminders like telling me to rest, drink some water, go get something to eat.
A case in point, I was complaining of a slight headache when he simply asked me, “How much water have you had today?”
It made me immediately go get some water and that reminder helped me so much that particular day.
Without a doubt, being married to someone that you can explicitly state your needs to without judgment, is one heck of a bonus.
It is not a common topic for discussion but it’s one that we need to talk about more.
Being married is so unique but just like you practice self care before you were married, you need to continue practicing self-care, years after you’ve been married.
I see so many people admit that their reason for getting married was because they were lonely or because they believe they found their person.
Regardless, it’s incredibly important you establish a solid self care ritual for yourself so you’re able to remain consistent while married, with or without the support of your partner.