When I first came across the quote by Brene Brown, “talk to yourself like someone you love”, I thought this lady knows a thing or two about self-love.
As simple as this quote is understood to be, it’s quite profound. It suggests that the way we talk to ourselves whether it’s out loud or internally, matters. It matters what we say to ourselves yet, we continue to press play on messages that slowly destroy our confidence.
I want us to not only receive this revelation but also apply it. I want us to talk to ourselves like someone hearing it would be life-changing. In this blog post, I plan on covering the reasons why you should carefully consider what messages you allow yourself to believe and why you should talk to yourself like someone you love.
Loving Self-Talk Sets The Tone For The Rest Of Your Life
We can all agree that human can be their own worst enemy. Why is that? Why do we talk to ourselves in a way that we would never dare talk to someone else?
It’s because we are more forgiving to others, but not necessarily to ourselves. We make excuses for the people we love when they make a mistake but are unforgiving when it comes to ourselves.
Experiencing A Difficult Time Is Normal
The second reason you should talk to yourself like someone you love is that experiencing a difficult time is normal. We live in a society that likes to act like pain, hurt, and heartache mean bad luck. That there are only a chosen few that never experience tribulation.
Everyone experiences difficult times. It’s a part of life but, how you talk to yourself during these tough times matters. What kind of message are you sending yourself? Are you telling yourself that you’re strong and capable or are you listening to your inner critic who tells you that getting through it is not possible?
You Are In A Important Relationship With Yourself
Many clinical psychologists call the practice of someone strengthening kindness and compassionate thoughts to themselves, kindness meditation. It’s a form of self-care that has been shown to be beneficial in managing stress, improving relationships, and even increasing productivity and self-compassion.
When you talk to yourself like someone you love, it allows for a more intimate relationship with yourself. A relationship where you are your own best friend instead of someone you haven’t taken the time to nurture and self-love.
Your Internal Dialogue Is A Powerful Tool
Even on your bad days, you have to be careful about what thoughts you digest. Thoughts become things. If you continue to tell yourself that you’re not going to meet that goal, lose weight, or reach those small goals- guess what? You won’t believe it when someone comes along and tells you the opposite because you’ve already brainwashed yourself with those thoughts.
In the days leading up to my doctor’s appointment, I believed I wouldn’t be able to straighten my knee so by the time I went to the doctor and they told me that I could- I didn’t believe them. Even after they showed me the X-rays stating that no harm could be done to my knee if it straightened. It took days of convincing myself that what they were saying was the truth and not my inner dialogue before finally believing it myself.
Your mind is one of the most powerful tools known to man so, use it to aid in your mental health. So, when you have a moment, think about how you talk to yourself on your best days and on your worst days. Is it with love or is it with criticism?
Negative Self Talk Does More Harm Than Good
I remember overhearing a friend talking to herself out loud in a really negative way. When I asked her who she was talking to, she immediately became embarrassed but, I understood because I was guilty of the same thing.
Most of us talk to ourselves this way without even realizing it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of but, it is something that should be addressed because negative self-talk does more harm than good.
It creates this new normal effect that tells our brains that it’s okay to talk to ourselves this way. It becomes a part of our internal dialogue and can be really hard to break the habit.
Talking To Yourself Like A Loved One Is Vitally Important
Essentially, knowing you have an ongoing healthy dialogue with yourself establishes a good foundation for sound relationships outside of yourself. It all starts with YOU. You are the most important person in your life so, talk to yourself in a loving way, It’s vitally important for your mental health and well-being.
When you have a strong relationship with yourself, it becomes easier to manage stress and anxiety. You know how to comfort and support yourself in times of need which makes for a more stable mindset overall.
You Deserve Love, Too
The final reason why you should talk to yourself like someone you love is that you deserve love too. I bet you are generous with the love you give to others. The same love you give to others can be given to yourself. And remember, your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life.
I’ve grown to love talking to myself but this wasn’t always the case. According to a study, 96% of people say that they have an internal dialogue.
We all have an inner dialogue or what some would call “self-talk.” This is the voice in our head that speaks to us throughout the day. It’s usually a mix of positive and negative self-talk depending on our experiences, environment, etc.
I would engage in negative self-talk without even realizing it. That all changed when I realized how much power our thoughts have over us.
If we continue to engage in self-criticism, guess what? We start to believe them. However, breaking down unhealthy dialogue is the first step in mending it.
Engaging In Self Talk: Positive Or Negative
When you talk to yourself like someone you love, it’s easier to be more forgiving and understanding. You give yourself grace when you make mistakes and are more willing to learn from them. You also become more patient with yourself which is a great quality to have.
What are some ways that you talk to yourself like someone you love? I would love to talk with you about it in the comments below!